The Bigger, Super-Deluxe Bob Archive, Part Three
Here's part three, because again, my HTML editor just can't handle anything
Back to Annotated Archive, Part Two
I'm not a giant fan of this one. It came from my roommate talking about
having somebody over that he positively despised, so I didn't have any
better ideas and I used it. The punchline is a little clunky-- it really
should have just been "No, not at all. I just hate you."
This, on the other hand, is one of my favorites. I don't know exactly
where the idea came from, but it was fun to draw and I kinda like Clarence.
This is another one of those strips that I had reservations about when
I drew it, only to lose them in the glow of history. My reservations in
this case were that I was crossing a line with Bob; he hadn't actually
anybody before, but that's kind of what he does here. And yet, it doesn't
seem too bad. Kinda sweet, in fact.
Sort of an odd one here. I can't exactly recall where the idea came from
here either, though I have a strong suspicion it's the phrase "You've got
to trust anybody wearing a puppy." I think there's some nice interplay
with Bob and Freddie here; the scary panel of Bob looming over Freddie
really relies on the reader's familiarity with the two characters. Plus,
it's fairly rarely that I get to draw cute puppies-- you can tell that
I'm not really very good at it. Big eyes is the key.
Here's a piece of cartoonist obsession for you. The last panel of this
cartoon drives me nuts. You'll notice that Dr. Peterson is frowning. Originally,
he was kind of grinning, but I didn't like that, so when I posted the scan,
I erased a bit of his mouth with Photoshop. But, in all the copies of this
strip I have, his mouth is still the way it started out, i.e. grinning,
which I hate. So that's what I see whenever I look at this cartoon.
Past that, this was of course inspired by a run-in I had with the world
of prescription drugs, something I normally avoid. They have silly names,
so that's where the first panel came from. I knew I wanted a dinosaur,
so there's your cartoon. Of course, Bob's threat to the pharmacist is lifted
directly from Star Wars, in Ben Kenobi's warning to Darth Vader
before their exciting battle. Star Wars rocks!
Ah, one of my all-time faves. This was one of those cartoons that started
out very differently. The first few panels were the same, with the Wood
Jam, but then he was supposed to take it back to the store, only to find
that the beaver sales clerk and the termite manager weren't very understanding.
I just didn't know if I could find a way to make that work, and while I
was doodling about things, I drew Bob with beaver and termite features.
I like this one because it's a crazy situation, and he finds a novel
and interesting way to deal with it. It's a classic example of lateral
thinking. And, up until that last panel, it seems like a sensible, Star
Trek kind of solution. Of course injecting yourself with DNA
will mutate you into a weird hybrid.
Note that the DNA canisters are labelled Ebola, Termite, Beaver, Cow,
Quite a lame strip, all things considered, so there's not much to say,
really. I had eaten some cinnamon candy hearts not that long ago; hence
the cartoon. The only thing I even kind of like about this one is the use
of the word "execrable", especially since it accompanies one of (I think)
my most execrable strips. Another example of the old saying "Beware of
doing strips about things that suck, because the strip itself may well
suck, and then you'll look like a classic retard." Good saying, that.
Thankfully, I was up to steam next week, and this one's one of my favorites.
I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to end this cartoon; the original
idea was that Bob would say something like "Let's quit this retarded game
immediately before I kill each and every one of you", to which the others
would respond, of course, "Yes, let's." Instead, I decided to use a funny
punchline instead. The three people are (very) loose caricatures of people
I know, though the resemblance ends there, if it even starts there. Still,
it's nice and clean, and while it's certainly not Space Moose-level,
it's still fairly mean, so I like it quite a bit.
Ah... well, I came up with this one while confronted by the poverty on
the streets of San Francisco-- not that there's any lack of poverty on
the streets of Edmonton, but at least here a smaller percentage of the
homeless and hopeless have urinated all over themselves. I mulled it over
for a while and eventually put it together. Unfortunately, it's one of
those strips that looks like total crap on the Internet, since I used a
computer-generated screen for the fourth panel, the kind of thing that
tends to scan like crap. It was an ambitious idea, but it's one of those
graphical things you have to try every so often even if it means it might
look bad, as it did here. Still an okay cartoon, I think.
A friend pointed out that a recurring theme in the cartoon is advertising,
and after I thought about it, I realized he was right. There's this one,
as well as The Hard Hard Sell and... um... some other ones I can't
remember right now.
Loved this one when I drew it, though I've gotten colder on it as time
goes on, mainly because I think the art is rather weak. It's crowded and
I didn't make very effective use of black, so that still bugs me. On a
writing level I'm pretty happy with it; it's about time somebody really
pinned down the primary limitation of most robots.
Yeesh. This was laaaaazeeee. Basically I was so absolutely stuck for time,
I had this idea, and I did it, even though I knew that it sucked. But I
did it anyway, just cuz I wrote it out and so I figured I might as well
do it, a situation that repeated itself a few cartoons later in Aqua
This has long been one of my favorites, though nobody else likes it. I
just think the art was really snappy in this one, especially the last panel,
where I think I did a pretty swell job of putting together the railing,
rigging and seawater, thank you very much. And what about that fifth panel,
when Bob's just looking at him? That was one of those incredibly rare instances
when the script actually runs short and I don't have any ideas for big
splash panels. So we get a comtemplative little look at Bob looking at
Remora Joe. What's wrong with that? Nothing, I say.
Another favorite -- in fact, I was batting pretty well at this point, not
minding a few crappers. This one went for Slur, and I didn't even
mind that it was one of the better ones, I thought. The cartoon could run
perfectly well with just the first row of panels, but then the comedy stakes
just get higher and higher with the second row-- where will it end? Note
the weirdos in the seventh panel. The guy with the brain floating above
his head was supposed to be the star of another cartoon I just couldn't
make work, but maybe now I've written this annotation, I'll take another
crack at it. His name's "The Reverend", and keep and eye out for him. And,
I like the little dimple in the elephant's ass as Bob stuffs him into the
panel -- now that's cartoonin'!
Hoo boy. One of the worst cartoons I've ever done, except for maybe The
Bottom of the World, which I haven't put on the Net because I'm so
ashamed of it. This is the pinnacle of the "Well, I hate the idea, but
I've already kinda sketched most of it out, and it seems a shame to erase
all of that and start over again" theory of cartooning, a theory I was
eventually to abandon. Literally, I went through with this one 'cuz I thought
that the sound effect "Sploop" was kind of funny. That's it. Lame, lame,
lame. What was I thinking?
Eh. Not great, not terrible. There are a few touches I like here and there
-- his line about being underestimated by his enemies is not too bad--
but this isn't one I usually linger over when I look over the book. One
of those classic "I'm about to get on the bus; what if the guy didn't like
my pass for some reason" kind of cartoons, nothing especially fancy.
Ah, I'm a sap, let's face it. I always have a hard time with these "goodbye"
strips, and this one was the first. I just put together a bunch of gags
and threw myself in because artist-meets-creation is one of those things
I'm just a sucker for. Frozen yogurt does cost way to much, so there's
some anger, and nothing tugs on the heartstrings like a little spotlight
at the end. Sniff.
So this was the first See strip, and as usual for inaugural strips,
it wasn't all that great. It's a pretty standard spin on the Jack-and-the-Beanstalk-meets-mercenaries
story, but I liked the dialogue so away I went. The only thing that's at
all notable about this one, I think, is his final-panel protestation "All
beans are magic beans!" It's really the only way to save face in a situation
like that one.
This one, curiously, was never on this page until March of 1998. Not because
I had anything against it, but simply because I never had scannable copies
of the ones I did for Slur.
Beyond that, there's not really all that much to this one. I sort of
appreciate that the cook was actually ballsy enough to accompany Bob on
his quest, and I also kind of appreciate that I was ballsy enough to not
depict that epic struggle. And then, after all that, Freddie doesn't like
the wings very much. Isn't life crazy that way?
Ah, a classic, even though I'm now very disappointed with the art. The
third panel with all the kids doesn't have nearly enough black in it, and
the composition is lousy. Still, it's a pretty good gag that got laughs
from just about everybody who read it, so that made me feel good. This
was the second cartoon I did for See, so it was kind of a relief
to get one that I knew was funny. Again, nobody ever complained about the
evil in Bob's behavior, but I was long past hoping that I would offend
This is also the first appearance of a Bob design innovation that would
become pretty important later on: the curled petals in panel six. It was
just a gag at the time, and note how he reverts to normal for the punchline,
but those 3D petals crawled into my head and stayed there, and they forced
their way out a few cartoons later in Uke Fever.
Ah yes... this one. Actually, I kind of like this one, even though it's
not really funny. Every so often I get a notion that takes ahold of me
and won't let me go even though I know nobody's going to like it. This
was one of those; it wasn't a gag so much as... an emotional observation?
It was quite terrible and cruel, but I couldn't stop myself.
Two art points. One, I was pretty happy with the way the ominous storm
clouds turned out, and the last panel still drives me nuts because there
should be a little bit of black under the top line of the right-hand reverse-relief
spar of the cross on the gravestone. Yes, it's true -- I'm quite mad.
My brother asked if Johhny was supposed to be him, since they were both
born in 1969. Actually I was referring to a dork I knew in University named
Marty Tucker, a guy who aspired to own a big fat keychain with a lot of
keys on it. Bless him, he achieved his ambition.
The price of scorn, of course, is remorse.
Ahhhh, See Magazine... you bunch of crazy jokers. This was one that
I still look back at with fondness, and it's a pretty good example of how
I sometimes write cartoons in such a way that you have to read the whole
cartoon, and then go back and read the title. Here, for instance, Bob is
"learning the hard way" that he actually likes rice cakes. Hilarious.
Of course, when See Magazine printed this one, they somehow managed
to chop off the two rightmost panels, the ones that say "As of today, you're
on a strict diet..." and "Six long, long months later..." Somehow nobody
noticed that this no longer made sense. Or rather, it made a kind of sense,
but not the sense I was aiming at, particularly since the title of the
cartoon didn't mean a damn thing any more. Faaaan-tastic.
I was particularly proud of the art in the collapsing-world panel, whch
turned out almost exactly the way I'd pictured it when I came up with the
idea. For me, that's pretty rare. It's a nice silhouette shot of Bob, too,
so there's just all kinds of things to be happy about here.
Um, I guess this one is okay, but it's a pretty standard list-o-gags, the
kind I try not to do too much of any more, though that didn't stop me from
doing it in the first one I did for the Journal, "Why We Have Unions."
Plus, the art on a few of the panels kind of pisses me off these days.
Yay! I love Story Guy, and I only recently realized that he can be a semi-regular
character. This is his first outing, though we were to see him again in
Return of a Character That Nobody Realy Wanted To See Again!. I was
on a big story kick around this time, also doing "Listening to Enya" at
the same time for Slur. Note, however, that Story Guy doesn't actually
tell his story -- he just tells us that he's told the story. The story
he's telling us, of course, is the story of how he met Bob the Angry Flower.
A little recursion there, math fans. People liked Rags a lot, and I felt
almost bad that he had to go, but I'm pretty sure that part of Story Guy's
ongoing shtick is that he's got a different story animal every time we
see him. So long, Rags.
This is when I was still unclear as to exactly how far I wanted Bob
to go. The sixth panel was orginally going to be Bob simply attacking Story
Guy and trying to steal his sweater, with Story Guy screaming, "Story Dog!
Help!" But in the end, I balked, thinking it was a pretty mean thing to
do to outright steal the shirt off of somebody's back. I look at that now
and think I must have been crazy to back down like that. Ah, a cartoon
is always evolving.
On another note, I like the bar chick in panel eight, and I think I
did an unusually good job of faking my way through a drawing of a nightclub.
I do have some regrets about Bob's final line though. After it ran, I felt
like it should have been the obvious "Baby, it's a long story," or the
slightly more challenging "Baby, does it really matter?" Either way, he
should have said "Baby."
Ah, if I'd drawn this one better, it'd be one of my favorites. I still
send it out when I'm trying to entice magazines to run my cartoon. The
first panel was really, really clumsy -- in fact the whole first row of
panels is substandard -- but I like to think the second row of panels kind
of makes up for it, especially the last one. A classic example of how the
'humor" works in this strip. The real gag is in panel five, of course,
but there's a bit more amusement after that, and the last panel isn't so
much funny as (I think) an insight into character.
The blond gal ws loosely based on a Christian gal I knew at the time
who, like many young people who claim to be Christian, wasn't really --
or at least it didn't seem to have any impact on her bitchy behavior. I
also kind of dig the perspective on that last shot of the cross.
Ah, this was one I liked a lot when I did it, mostly because I was very
happy with the way that first picture of Dexter Mobley turned out. The
gag itself was just so damn stupid I had to use it. Note the bit of continuity,
there, in Dexter's reference to Bob's Big Plans.
Also note Doctor Doom in the first panel, and the back of a Dalek from
Who in the background of panel two. God I'm funny.
A bit of a twist on the three wishes gag, in that this time the genie doesn't
offer wishes, he demands a sense! What a jerk! to me, the best part of
this cartoon is the genie's irritated response "Five bucks isn't a sense!"
I'm willing to bet that this simple sentence had never been expressed in
human history before I came along. Plus, I also like to remind people that
we have senses other than the traditional five.
Actually, I cheated a bit on this one, twice. First, to be fair, a sense
of outrage isn't really a sense either, but I guess the Lord of Bottles
doesn't let himself get too wrapped up in semantics. Secondly, I originally
had an entirely different last panel, in which Bob says, "I'm sure the
prices they charge are fair," and the Lord of Bottles angrily retorting,
"You're a RETARD!" For some reason I backed down on that one as well and
redrew the panel. Can't even remember why any more.
Ah, another good one. By this time I was pretty happy with the 'toons I
was doing for See, and this one is no exception. The good-conscience/bad-conscience
gag is a pretty old one, but I like to think this one is not too bad. By
my reading, Conan O'Brian has established the last word on this particular
gag when he did the good-conscience/grizzly bear sketch, in which the good
conscience tells him to behave properly, and the grizzly bear growls a
lot and asks for honey. Ah, brilliant. In comparison, this one isn't that
funny, but what can I say? I tried.
This cartoon also features the unobtrusive debut of one of my little
art "tricks," this one being the little dust of dots around the edges of
panel seven. Before, when I wanted to jazz up a panel, I really on ly had
two choices: do the whole thing in solid black, or do a lot of cross-hatched
tomfoolery around the edges. Now I had an extra little thing to make the
thing a little more vibrant.
I think I was actually making a bit of a comment here, in that sometimes
one can come into a situation with the total moral upper hand and still
be made to feel bad by someone with a talent for manipulation. By this
time Bob was really becoming quite a bad person. Note also that I was using
the dust of dots stuff I'd come up with in the previous cartoon, except
with a little more sophistication, especially in the seventh panel, where
Bob is running away into a misty black fog, kind of.
This is a pretty transparently lazy cartoon. I'd come up with the idea,
thought it would be fast and easy to draw, and away I went. And then it
turned out I didn't know how to draw the Eifel Tower, so I ended up making
a fool of myself. I'm also not very happy with the lunk's posture in panels
five and six, but what can you do? Plus, the old leave-the-guy-standing-there-under-a-moon
gag was a pretty cheap one, but hey -- I was on a deadline!
Go to Annotated Archive, Part 4