Thur, May 1, 2008- Early Just a little early, this week, as I'm headin' up to Edmonton for some seriously serious GTA, Scrotoss and ribs. So I apologize for continuing the trend of slim, barely-existent posts, but I gots files to organize. So is how it's going down. Fri, Apr 25 - It begins This update, created this very hour, made for the masses, available to any, here it is, another installation of angryflower.com. And then, just as quickly, it ends! Was it even there? Fri, Apr 18 - Doot doot de doot Doo de doo, typing on the keyboard, dum der day, making words, diddle peskiddle, updating the site... Oh! Sorry, folks! Didn't see you there. I'm a bit preoccupied trying to get squared away and such. Still stuff to do, still stuff to do... Right, strip. Strip! Fri, Apr 11 - ContTROversy Y'gotta say it with the accent on the "tro" to rhyme like "straw". Like, con-TRAW-ver-sy. I guess you don't gotta, but I recommend it. But first, this cartoon. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. A couple of weeks ago a reader wrote to wonder if this new logo of a Michigan burger bar wasn't awfully similar to a cover I did for Vue Weekly some years back. And indeed it was. Then, this week, I learned that this erzatz drawing had angered some Michigan LGBTers. Somehow I even ended up interviewed for a followup story. Hilarious! The idea that I created a drawing that, years later, could serve as the stolen germ of a newsworthy kerfluffle that jumps in crimes from public offense to plagiarism in the space of two days? Outstanding! Fri, Apr 4 - Yikes! I got so busy reading comics and rewatching old Doctor Who episodes and thinking about Peggle, I almost completely spaced on this week's update! Holy crap! Luckily I remembered -- but in only the barest nick of time! I suspect the undue influence of Fri, Mar 28 - Quick like runny No big deal this week, folks, I intend on some drinking and that means attending to updating split-lickety. So, the cartoon, the third part of the trilogy that was never to be. Cool Upcoming Stuff That is Cool Let's see, let's see, plenty of reasons to keep living, let's see... April 1: Doctor Who. The Time Warrior out on DVD April 5: Doctor Who, Vol 2, Season 4 begins with "Partners in Crime" June 24: Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs May 2: Iron Man June 13: The Incredible Hulk July 18: The Dark Knight July 23: Bob the Angry Flower: Pamplemousse Clue Chaser 2 Damn, almost forgot. A few months ago I posted about a game a high school buddy of mine was running, Clue Chaser. Some readers checked it out, enjoyed it and wrote me to let me know: nice! So it gives me pleasure now to point folks anew to the next instalment: Clue Chaser 2: The Missing Mr. E. This game begins a new 3-game story arc, with all new puzzles as well as prizes and fame to be awarded to winner. As before it's free to play, but as not before this round does require the player to register. Give it a shot! Fri, Mar 21 - I can't stop myself I think everything's okay, I'm in control, it's all cool, and then wham! A cartoon like this one appears. Artses I participated in an art show here in Seattle last month. I wasn't able to make it to the opening, which apparently was liked and well-attended, but I did do a piece for it. The theme was "Saturday morning cartoons." I angled a bit from the theme, as my source wasn't a cartoon, but I like to hope the Krofts would forgive. Also representing was my PopCap cube-sharin' homey/colleague Rich Werner, who delivered a sinful slice of pie his own self. More was done by artists other, including a creepy-ass Gargamel, way too many Smurfs and a Fred/Wilma combo I didn't get until I had it explained to me. Pictures can be seen by clicking on this link. DO IT! Fri, Mar 14 - Empowered Is the name of a comic I'm reading by one Adam Warren. I'd just read an Iron Man book he'd done, Hypervelocity, which was pretty darn rad AND had a set of soft-pencilled but very realized layouts of the pages, with lots of cartoony zazz, in the back. I'd kinda wished they'd just published the layout pages instead of getting the other artist to redraw them (though the other artist did a decent job). Then along comes Empowered, halfway between a superhero porn comic and a parody of a superhero porn comic, which means plenty of porn superheroism either way, all done in the same lush 3B pencil style as those Hypervelocity layouts. Neato! Right, then, a comic. Fri, Mar 7 - Victories, Defeats Whew, seems like forever since I did an update. It wasn't, of course. It was only eight days. But betwen then and now were so many experiences, most of them in Canada. It was my profound pleasure and honor to be able to go back, chip in some labor in the last few days and witness my sister's ascension to the Alberta Legislative Assembly. Wheeeee-YAW! Go Rachel, go Rachel, GOOOOOO Rachel! On the other hand, it was a bit dragful to be there for yet another Tory electoral blowout and to see the NDP's seat total drop from 4 to 2, even if one of the 2 was my sister. Crapulous. GRAAAAAHHHH! Albertans! Why you gotta? Quit giving the Tories these unassailable majorities! You're just gonna get reamed! *fuss grumble pant* Now that's settled, what else is in the store? Cartoons? Why yes, most certainly! Here's the one from last week, one I quite enjoy and that speaks deep to my heart. And then, following swiftly, we have this curious continuitous confection. Gasp! The marvels of the modern age! I'm gonna swoon! Here I go...! Wed, Feb 27 - EDay minus 5 Sorry, folks, I'm heading back to Canada for a week to lend my sister a hand for the Big Outdoor Alberta Election Fight. As such, I'll not be around to update the site for this Friday. But no fear! Updates and doubled-up cartoons shall rain from the heavens like long-forgotten tears in slightly over week's time. Count on it. Fri, Feb 22 - Hi, Folks! Golly, thanks for stopping by angryflower.com! Here you'll find a pile of cartoons, including a brand new one, this one, a glimpse of a radically more interesting world than the one you believe you live in. Fri, Feb 15 -Post V-tine I'm actually doing this update up a day early, that is to say *Wednesday* evening, since I have some Valentine's Day plans and I don't want to have to spend them worrying about my site update. Don't worry, these aren't romantic plans. No fear. There's little danger of a cloak of happiness descending on my life to blunt my "edge." No, just some play-seeing and then, I hope, some amusement at the Stranger's annual Valentine's Day bash wherein mementos of loves lost are destroyed in flame. Should be a bash or two, stuff I wish to be drunk for, so as I say I'm writing this up in advance. Speaking of which: Man, I so have the main time-travelling theme from the 2002 Time Machine remake running through my head. Well, not just running through my head; I also have it playing on YouTube as I type. Wouldja believe the track is called "I Don't Belong Here"? Man, I sure wish I'd known that before I blew $10 on iTunes buying the album to listen to the "Time Travel" track only to discover that the "Time Travel" track, curiously, was not in fact the Time Travel track. Sauce! Still, a good theme even if the movie is primarily ass. Tues, Feb 12 - Fabulous I was accosted on the street this evening, but not by the usual trash. A gal asked me what I was reading, so I spun in my tracks and told her (Journey to the End of the Night by Louis Ferdinand Celine, as it turned out). She made pleasant conversation and asked me if I wanted to get a drink in the adjacent place (The Baltic Room). After some moments' hesitation I agreed. I stayed for a drink, and another, and yet another, and then begged off saying I had a web site to update. Which was -- no way around it-- a lie. An unnecessary lie, since she was pleasant and friendly and I had no need to say anything other than I wanted to go home. But lie I did. So here's me trying to unmake that lie by performing an update, even if it's only to tell the sordid tale. Cheers! Feb 8 - Get In To The Funk Now, I cannot claim that I am sure what funk in to which you all should get, or why it is important, or indeed even what funk is. Nonetheless I have it on prime authority this must be done else catastrophic ensuances will result. Heed! Cartoon? Ah, yes. Sepulchral rustle. It seems a lot of strips these days result from half-remembered dreams, which might explain why they're so half-sucessfully funny. Neverthegardless, it is my sworn duty to present this peculiar peek into the middlin' realms of my subconscious and to reveal a rarely seen facet of our botanical chum's workings. Strip follows. Feb 1 - Auction Slightly odd strip today. My sister is running for office up in ol' Edmonton Strathcona and she talked me into auctioning off a Bob strip to help raise money. Shocked I was, shocked, to discover that the successful bidder was no other than Paul M. Charest, my longago boss at the Gateway some 16 years in the past. Well, given that bond of history I felt it best to fall back on my most fundamental belief, which is that Jan 30 - Rambo I saw Rambo. I liked it better when it was John Rambo. I'd hungered for it, gleeing over the trailers, wet blood sprays of tornapart flesh, full-on R-RATED up-fucking, YEAH!, I wanted it. And I went. And it angered and frustrated me. The total dickface missionary noob dude, he's so hateable, so retarded, such an ass who needs a good strong lesson, I felt myself sympathizing with him. What chance does he have? His airyfairy "Violence isn't the answer" message is that of a choad. Of course HE sucks. It takes Julicious Julie Benz to crack Rambo's ironforging heart, or at least enough for Rambo to agree to drag this band of entirely naive torturebait missionaries upriver, despite his sure knowledge (and demonstrated expertise) that such pacifistic efforts are meaningless. And yet twice, TWICE, in the movie, we hear some version of this exchange: "If you won't kill, you won't change anything." "It's thinking like that that makes sure nothing changes." Stallone gives that viewpoint its due. It's said. But what happens? We are shown cruel, evil Myanmarese soldiers driving innocent villagers across mine-laden fields. They chortle, snicker cruelly smoke as the villagers splash forward and GOOSH! one goes up, what was a person is now a flying spray of redness. And the soldiers laugh, and smoke, and we know they are evil. Which is why, fifty-five minutes later, we have no problem going WOOO! and YEAHHH!! when we see these evil village-killin' cuntbiters have their heads explode or their legs shot off or all of them in a group just shattering in blood, HELL YEAH, they DESERVED IT!!! Except... if the bad guys' getting off on mindless evil shit is why I'm supposed to hate them, how can I lay back, fart, belch, scrabble for some popcorn and go OOOOOOOOOOH! when some douchebag's head vanishes from two angles and he goes flying? Am I not that douchebag? It made me angry that I couldn't just sit back and go WOOO YEAAAAHHHH watching dudes get ripped to pieces. Stallone's movie transcended mere cheeseball jingoism; it got stupid in a profound way. It left me hopeless. The movie says there are two things: the endless cycle of violence and people who get chewed up thinking there's anything other than the endless cycle of violence. But eff that. What if you do something smarter than wander into a war zone to get raped/eaten by pigs? What if you find ways to create personal relationships with the people on the other sides, create situations in which your trust in them becomes your shield and your sword, makes it impossible for them to hurt you? And if it turns out that your loathed enemy is human after all, can you discover common interests, identify common goals? I'm telling you, Shirley, there's something better in between or above. Jan 25 -- Cloverfield? It was okay. Startling in places, monstery in others, the whole movie, if you took the sum of it, might add up in tension and scariness to the first tripod attack in Spielberg's War of the Worlds. Is that a success? It's not a failure. It's worth a look and ownership on DVD just for the sake of freeze-framing to get a solid look at the beastie. I have a tough time believing that Cloverfield Monster has much chance in overthrowing or even seriously challenging Godzilla's lock on all-time kaiju iconicism, but he's got some flair, a little personality. Maybe the second movie will be from his point of view. Anyway, cartoon. Ever have one of those days when you wake up with an odd phrase in your head and you seem to have no choice but to do a strip about it? I have; indeed, I did just last week. This is the result. Movies with Paul Not Ron Paul but my brother Paul, this time his fantasy Academy Award list. Alternate! Jan 18 - Cloverfield! Another quickish update this week, dear readers. It's already a tad late and I need to get oodles of sleep so that I can be fresh and ready for... CLOVERFIELD! Cartoon? Yes. Where was I? Oh, yes, Cloverfield. Sign me up. A giant monster movie told from the perspective of some regular dudes just trying to survive, rather than from the viewpoint of all the military people and presidential cats working to "solve" the problem? Sweet. Just what I want, what I've been nightmaring about for years. I hoped Spielberg's War of the Worlds would dish up some of that ground-level kaiju terror, and it did, but not enough and without enough conviction. Early reports say Cloverfield might be the baby. Can't wait! Kucinich Is the Best I'd like to thank all the folks who wrote in about Ron Paul last week, both the Paulites and anti-Paulites. It's exactly why I like his candidacy, because he gets people talking and thinking. Would a Paul presidency be a disaster? Of course, though if by some miracle he got in I think he'd have at least as much trouble abolishing the IRS as Clinton did in bringing in a single-payer health care program. But Paul's mere presence on the playing field gives this race some flavor it wouldn't otherwise have. I haven't spent as much time praising Dennis Kucinich as I have Ron Paul, mostly because I didn't see Kucinich lay serious smackdowns on fools the way I did Paul. But cheers and aplauds to Kucinich for contesting the New Hampshire primary, not because he expects to change the result in his favor but because something smells and nobody else seems interested in checking out the stink. The reported irregularities in New Hampshire may well turn out to be nothing, but simply assuming they're nothing and brushing them off is not the way to go, particularly given America's colorfully checked recent (and not so recent) election history. GO DENNIS! VOTE FOR HIM, DEMOCRATS! HE'S THE REAL THING! Jan 11 - Caucusi Well, here we go, off into magical fairyland American President Election Year. I'm pretty pumped this time around, especially when you consider the lineup: I have a reader in Israel who is ardently, ardently, ardently anti-Ron Paul. He is appalled that I've expressed support for Paul, considers me uninformed on the subject. Don't I know that several white supremacists have come out in support of Paul? Didn't I see the video where Paul waffled on evolution? Haven't I read this article in the New Republic that skims over years of Paul's congressional newsletter and picks out some seriously juicy racist-sounding tidbits? Aren't I aware that Ron Paul harbors secret bigotries and hidden aspirations to fascism? Well, I do, I did, I have and I'm not. The New Republic piece is certainly worth reading for anbody interested one way or the other in Paul's candidacy; much more so is the comments thread that follows it. Also worth a look is Paul's response to the TNR article. I found myself reminded of a friend of mine who ran for office. One of his inflammatory university articles from fifteen years earlier was duly discovered and misquoted; suddenly he, who spends his life and passion fighting injustice, found himself having to apologize for other people's distortions. It sucked. That's not to say that my friend's case and Ron Paul's are necessarily the same. But one sure reminded me of the other. There's plenty of reasons to oppose a Ron Paul presidency, but him being a secret lizard man cloaked in lies who plots to feed the Jews to the Negroes is not, I think, a good one. If anything, his prescriptions of radical defederalization are far more alarming and ultimately perilous for the nation. At the same time, though, I think the debate over Paul's radical schemes would be incredibly healthy for America. People'd have to break out of their sterile left-right wing camps and really evaluate which competing American values and principles they supported. Folks would be actually talking about the kind of country they wanted to live in. Instead we're going to hear "Change" meaninglessly brayed at us for ten months. Bleah. Fri, Jan 4 -- Indeed! Well, it was a great time back in Edmonton. Entirely bullshit free, I'd say, and mesmerizing. I got caught up in it, the Edmonton beats, such that when I returned and popped back to the Pop Cap, I found the dull, angry elevators at 2401 4th Ave almost surreal, like a dream, like a life that couldn't possibly be. Yet be it does and I'm back in it, god bless. That also means I'm "home," if home is where the computer is, and that means you people deserve some cartoons. As promised, this week we got a double parter. This came from a conversation I had with my aunt a few weeks back in which she mentioned that my great grandfather, William Tillinghast Eldridge, had written a short story considered to be one of the precursors to E.R. Burrough's Tarzan stories. Enhralled as I was by this notion I committed on the spot to a cartoon adaptation, and this adaptation I now hereby present in both its parts. First we got followed up instantaneously by Beat that, chumps! Oh yes, and the original story can be found here. Dec 20 - Beat it, 2007! Whew! What a year it's been! And it's not even over yet, but it is here at angryflower.com. I'm packin' tonight and leaving and entering countries tomorrow so let's get this update and off-the-cuff year-end summary off the ground, cruised and safely landed as expeditiously as possible. First off, one cartoon. No more until I get back in January. Then two at once, and they're a two-parter! Oh boy! Peggle Replays Some more, and delivered in a new, easier-for-me format, a link to a reader's Peggle Replay repository. Yow! Technology! 07? Best Kaleidoscopically Splorgasmic Wedding: Fish & Dara's Best Technical Document: How to Make a Peggle Level (In Dozens of Easy Steps) Best Level Made: Peggle Nights Cinderbottom 9-4 Best Time Had In Movie Theatre Watching Movie: Grindhouse Best BookWorm Adventures 2 Quip So Far: "Your honor, this worm is a liar!" Best BookWorm Adventures 2 Secret Plot Twist: ------ -- ---. Best Exciting American Presidential Candidate: Dennis Kucinich Best Exciting American Presidential Candidate: Ron Paul Best Planet Currently Known: Earth Best Bob Strip of '07: ?????? Best 2007 Development in Personal Life: Again drawing a blank. But the year's not over! LATER, CATS!!! Dec 14 - Dizzy! Whew! That was a fun party, the kind where people vaguely feel like they need to apologize to somebody afterwards, not for having done anything truly wrong but simply suspecting that, loopy as they were, they *must* have embarassed themselves somehow. Anyway, party time is over and now comes the moment to consider The Golden Compass I remember reading these books and thinking, "Yep, this'd be real tricky to pull offf as a movie. The story is driven by some pretty astract metaphysical shit and the ending is a super, super bummer nobody's gonna wanna rush out to tell their friends to see." Definitely a problem for any would-be adapter, but I figured Chris Weitz, who did a good job with About a Boy and a fantastic job co-writing the Antz screenplay, had a decent shot at both recognizing those problems and dealing with them. My confidence trembled at the news that they were toning way, way down the more anti-Catholic, god-killing aspects of the book, but then recovered somewhat at seeing Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman cast as Lord Asriel and the feindish Mrs. Coulter. Alas, while Weitz does his best, the thing just doesn't quite grip. They deal with the bummer ending by simply stopping the movie before it occurs; a solution, but one that leaves the film kinda limp. The bigger problem, though, is that all Lyra's adventures and encounters get so condensed and boiled down that they feel rushed. Relationships that take hundreds of pages in the novel to develop simply appear in the film as if pre-packaged. "I'm a talking polar bear; I'll be your friend!" "I'm a witch: I'll be your friend!" "I'm Sam Elliot's mustache; I'll be your friend!" It's pretty and well-designed as all hell, but the final result feels distressly slight, darn it. More Replays It's true! Go to the Replays section to see for yourself! Fri, Dec 7 - Parteeee I believe there are some. Indeed, I am told that my employer PopCap will be having one this very day, a Christmasy-holiday-y kind of thing at the Seattle Aquarium. Now I know what you're going to say: Binge drinking and aquaria don't mix. But I'm here to tell you they do. And they will. Anyway, howzabout a cartoon? Chasing Clues Slightly less than a month ago I put up a link to an online puzzly thing an old high school buddy was putting together called ClueChaser.com. At the time there was not much more than a "Come back later" sign and a mailing list signup doodad. Well, apparently at 8am PST today, the thing goes LIVE. That's right. So if you're at all curious, do it. Fri, Nov 30 - Disheartening No, not the cartoon, which is hilarious.. It's just that I managed to drop $100 somewhere on the street between work and home. Had it when I left, didn't when I arrived, and man, it can really take it out of you, a stupid-ass loss like that. If I wasn't still feeling aftershocks of happiness from Bender's Big Score, I might well succumb completely to disconsolate feelings. Fri, Nov 23 - Snuze... I'ma sleepy from pounds and again pounds of America-style Thanksgiving turkey and ham, so this is a gonna be an update near-legendary for its brevity: Nov 16 - I Was Finding This Modern World Most Agreeably Entertaining Lots to gab about this week, so let's get to it. First, a cartoon. Next, some Peggle Replays, and by some I mean tons. That's right, tons, as in there are so many that the combined weights of their massless bits somehow add up to two or more tons. Super Mario Galaxy Last week I raved about upcoming pleasures; this week two of them have upcome, the first being Super Mario Galaxy. Constant readers may inkle my devotion to Mario's ferocious power, but even I was unprepared for the multivariant delights of the Galaxy. For starters, the game looks gorgeous. I've heard grumblings about the Wii's graphical strength in relation to the PS3 and 360 and even I will admit the Wii cannot push nearly as many polygons as those august systems. However, Galaxy displays creativity and taste, two things you just can't fake even with access to every polygon in the universe. The colors are generous and soothing, Mario's planet-to-planet swirls and cosmic arcs exhilarate profoundly, and everywhere everywhere glitters twinkle and wink at the lucky player. Ahh, so nice. Controls: awesome. I was skeptical about the Wiimote/Wiichuck two-hand combo, but despite the controller being broken into two pieces, the buttons and thumbsticks find themselves under the proper thumbs and fingers with nary a whisper of complaint. Strange new Wiimote functionalities like shaking the 'mote to execute spins and grabs or flicking the 'mote-controlled cursor around on the screen to collect tasty tasty Star Bits flow easily and immediatey into the hands, like they're coming home. That this level of smooth control comfort is possible seems flatly impossible given the frankly astounding things Galaxy asks those controls to do. Like Portal from a month ago, Super Mario Galaxy is out to donkey-hammer your sense of space, distance and direction. Standing on top of the ground with gravity pointing downwards is for chumps. In Galaxy you're running around on the walls, the ceiling, between planets, up, down, sideways... it's nuts. And for the first couple of hours you never do the same thing twice. I'm swimming. I'm riding a manta ray down a huge undualting tube of water suspended in space. I'm flying around in a bee suit. I'm swinging across space from star to star. I'm beating the living fuck out of Bowser for the first time. And I gotta say --hell, two nights ago I did say-- beating Bowser was the purest moment of happiness I've had in months. Pathetic, I know, but it really did feel good. The Black Dossier And then Volume 3 of Alan Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen appeared. I don't want to get drawn up into too much of a review here or I'll be up all night, so a few quick thoughts. When you open it for the first time, you see the book is about half comics and half non-comics stuff like Newspeak cover letters, lost Shakespeare plays, illustrated sex stories, maps, memos, memoirs, postcards, files, stories and at the back of the book there are a pair of 3d glasses. It's like the little extra end-chapter pieces from Watchmen exploded and took over half the book. Which is cool, but it also makes for an odd reading experience, plowing through pages of text to get to the comics parts, the actual story, only to find the best stuff is the material around the comics, the Orlando story (from which I lifted the headline for this update). The earlier volumes were comics, cracking good adventure stories with big scenes and huge payoffs. The comics section of the Black Dossier, the Mina-Allan story, sets the stage for another such tale and then metamorphoses into incomprehensible garble, Promethea -style. Still, I love the setting,1958, not long after the collapse of the IngSoc regime. Seeing a story set after the events of 1984, watching the Party get plowed under into history with the rest, its posters scrubbed off walls... that is damn neat. Fri, Nov 9 - Craphose All that stuff I said last week about liking this part of the year when it's getting darker faster cuz it's all running up towards the winter solstice? Garbage. Pure garbage. I had failed to take into account the light-draining reality of Dayling Savings Time, the sudden and all-consuming clutch of night. It is, as we say, sauce. Plus it gets ever chillier, and that can only mean it's time to Another Replay Sorry about the replays not working last week: I *think* I've got it fixed, but it's sometimes hard to tell. Here's another one, anyway. Yay! So many wonderful things happening this month! Super Mario Galaxy comes out next week! Bender's Big Score follows a coupla weeks later! That's at least two things! And wasn't there something else? Some movie maybe? Beowulf? I mean, I guess, but there was something better. Or no --it was (or will be) The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier! WOOOOO! Reasons to keep livin' continue to pile up! Everything is AWESOME! Clues, Chased Oh, yeah. An old hig school buddy wrote me to say he's putting together some kinda wacky Internet thing, an "an online, interactive, clue hunting, puzzle solving mystery game" of some sort. It hasn't actually gone live yet and I have no idea what it's like, but if you can't throw a an old high school pal a link every so often, why are you even bothering to eat? The site, evidently, is ClueChaser.com, and though the game ain't there, fora and info reside and pulse and hunger and grow strong. Fri, Nov 2 - Darkening We're really in the run now, the curve slacking off as we zing towards the bottom of the rough, the darkest day of the year. I always look forward to it, even though it's incredibly dark and it'll still be weeks before you can tell the days are getting longer, but those days are getting longer. That's right, night, crawl back into your hole, lay off making people feel depressed and bitchy, feelin' like they're More, My God so many More Replays It's true, and they're on the replays page. Some of 'em are pretty sharp! Fri, Oct 26 - 'Allo! Allo-WE'EN, that is. Hallowe'en years where the 31st falls on some cursed Wednesday rather than on a weekend are always off, precipitious, wrong-timed, ill-mooned, hard to schedule, over too soon. Still, it occurs to me that I haven't posted a PopStrip in simply ages so here's one, Hallow-themed. There's also a Bob comic, not as good I'm afraid but I was fearing at the time. Canada Lives I suspected it had, but it's nice to confirm such things, especially when the confimation includes such activities as watching Nabby the doig of wonders do her mannerly, precise tricks. Oh Nabby! There's a good girl! Who's a good Nabby? Is it you? Is it you? It IS you! Fri, Oct 19 - Chuck No, not Chuck, the action-comedy series on NBC before Heroes on Monday nights, but Chuck, as in Chuck the Edmonds, Edmon-chuck, also known as City of Champions and Edmonton. Hometown, baby, here I come for 71 hours of socialist paradise-style excitements and Canadian times. Mmmm-boy, can't wait. So, quickly then, the cartoon and then to bed. And now, bed! Wheeeeeee! Fri, Oct 12 - Beans My mind is filled with beans, beans spinning through the night, dissolving and reforming, green-husked and singing. I don't know why; I haven't eaten or seen beans recently. Perhaps I am being tampered with. Such things are always possible. Cartoon follows. Fri, Oct 5 - Laundry! That's right: laundry! As in done, with clean clothes. Like with a laundrified TOWEL. I brought it home in a BAG. It's MINE now. That's how serious I am about this laundry. Heaps serious. It's gonna be so aesome. Scratch that -- it is already so awesome. What was I talking about? Sea horses? Or no, regular horses, as in More Smallville Whaddya think? Should I turn this into a Smallville blog? I could do it. The deadly conjunction of Smallville episodes and angryflower.com updates on Thursday night could easily lead down that dark, friendless path. I could start talking about how this new Supergirl seems like she could have some possibilities as a snooty flying bitch on a show that's already got one, cuz if the plan for this season is Kara and Lana in a superbitch contest then in the name of every man, woman and child in Kandor, Kara, watch your back. Lana's a killer. Also: Ron Paul is awesome. Yes. Fri, Sep 28 - Oh man oh boy Smallville season premiere tonight! Bizarro, Supergirl, maybe even a saucy little taste of Martian Manhunter... mmmmmm, good. All taped up and ready to go unless I mangled the recording like I seem to do in seven out of 12 cases. But first a cartoon, a cartoon of such terrifying and unrelenting power that it could only be called Smallville: Update! Rousing start, dudes getting punched into the sky, nice. And as usual the best and most heartbreaking stuff was with Lex, the poor bastard, rendered a chump by a poisonous bitch. This show is incredibly, incredibly lucky that Michael Rosenbaum is still willing to be in it; it'd evaporate in seconds without him. Fri, Sep 21 - Wow! Oh my god, did you guys hear? About that thing? That thing that was, like, so strange and attention-getting and simply everybody was talking about it? No? Really? Come now, you must have. Even if you didn't see it yourself you must have overheard something. It was that good. Anyway, here's this week's cartoon. God Bless Drunken Master It's come to my attention that, two weeks ago, Bob brought fierce judgment down on Drunken Master Dvd concern. I'd just like everyone to know that, after a month of their having not deliverd my Gamera, they responded with astonishing swiftness when I told them my region-free DVD player had crapped out on me. They sent it Tuesday and it arrived on Friday. Not only that, but on hearing that I'd given up on the Gamera and bought it from someone else, they took the extra step of including Return of Godzilla (the film we North Americans know as Godzilla 1985) along with the new DVD player. So you see, people and DVD mail order places can change, can turn away from wickedness and follow a better path. O my children, go forth and be inspired by this example. Fri, Sep 14 - Pow! Another week rolls around and bam! new cartoon, it just happens, materializes. The Widest Openly gay Republicans are known as "Log Cabin" Republicans, but what about closeted gay Republicans? What of them? Luckily, a friend of mine has a solution. Henceforth, let closeted Republicans be known as "Wide Stance Republicans." It just makes sense! Fri, Sep 7 - It! "It" in this case being this week's cartoon, presented thusly: I feel bad for Meltdown Comics; they kinda got caught in the crossfire. 4 Million Points are not enough points to tally the score of the Peggle replay I have for y'all this week, findable, as are so many others, on the Peggle Replays page. Ron Paul Uber Alles Man o man, did Ron Paul ever step up for truth, goodness and all-round awesome during the Republican debate on Wednesday. Listen to him slap Brit Hume's face here with some common sense: MR. HUME: This round of questions is going to be based on a scenario which we think is quite plausible that any of you as president might well end up facing. It concerns Iran, and these are the circumstances. Its nuclear program has continued to advance. U.N. weapons inspectors have -- are now saying that it appears that Iran is on the verge of being able to produce and may even be producing nuclear weapons. Iran has suspended its cooperation with the U.N. nuclear agency and asked the inspectors to leave the country. Cross-border incidents in Iraq involving elements of the Revolutionary Guard that continue to increase and are a continuing problem for U.S. forces there and for the Iraqis as well. The U.N. Security Council has imposed some economic sanctions on Iran, but has refused to authorize the use of force against that country. In addition, the threats by Iran’s leader against Israel have become more pronounced and more extreme. What do you do? Congressman Paul. REP. PAUL: For one thing, one thing I would remember very clearly is the president doesn’t have the authority to go to war -- (cheers) -- he goes to the Congress. MR. HUME: What do you do? So what do you do? (Applause.) REP. PAUL: He goes to the Congress and finds out if there’s any threat to our national security. And thinking back to the 1960s when I was in the Air Force for five years -- and with the Cold War going on, and the Soviets had 40,000, and we stood them down and we didn’t have to have a nuclear confrontation -- I would say that we should go very cautiously. We should back off. We should be talking to Iran right now. We shouldn’t be looking for the opportunity to attack them. They are at the present time, according to the AEIA (sic/IAEA), cooperating, and by the end of the year they’re supposed to be willing to reveal all that they are doing. So instead of looking for this scenario where it is inevitable that we have to attack, I think we ought to be talking about how do you get along with some people that are deadly like the Soviets and the Chinese and the many others. We don’t have to resort to war every single time there’s a confrontation. That's un-American, and we need to use the power of the presidency to get it back in order, in order to take care of us and protect this country and our liberties. Waitaminit... an American presidential candidate advocating liberty? I actually felt a physical thrill go up my back hearing Paul talk that sense, and I wasn't the only one; the live audience bellowed their approval. I know he's a fervent libertarian and advocates goofy things like the elimination of Medicare and Social Security, but it'd still be worth it to have a guy still capapble of thinking clearly about America and the world without the still-reverberating panic of 9-11 clouding his mind. Fri, Aug 31 - The Reckoning What reckoning am I talking about? None, really. I suppose there are lots of folks out there whose accounts need settling in one way or another, people who either owe or are owed, but I don't know any of them. Or perhaps I know them, but I don't know that about them. Whatever. I suppose I should wrap up this line of textation unless I'm willing to risk falling into rambling. Here's the cartoon! More Replays! Well, one more anyway, this one, So Many Bounces, found as always on the Peggle Replays page. Gamera? I finally cracked. After almost of a month of waiting and trying to get the folks at Drunken Master DVD in Los Angeles to send me my Gamera disk, I broke down and ordered it from somewhere else. Ordered the two-day shipping, too, so it should arrive today. Thanks for nothing, Drunken Master guys. I wouldn't have thought it would be so stressfully impossible to mail off a DVD, given three weeks and several reminders, but evidently it is so. I've always liked perusing and buying their stuff at the Con and I had no wish to talk crap about them, but jeez. Pull up your pants. And? A couple of readers said they enjoyed my brother Paul's list of 300 favorite movies, so here's another list of movies appended to the ended of Pauls original list. Yow! Fri, Aug 24 - Picnic! Ow, oof, urk, biff, what, but, helpless! something something cartoon: Fri, Aug 17 - Done and then Done So today (by which I mean Thursday, or yesterday if you go by the date above) I said "When I get home, I'm gonna update my site. But before I update it I'm gonna give myself an hour to make a scrote*, and in that hour the scrote will be done, and then I'll post what I've just said and it'll be true." I arrived home just after ten, puttered for six minutes and commenced the construction at 10:10 pm. At 11.08 pm. the task was complete, my new scrote, scanned and shown here: I needed a new scrote, you see, since I'd left my last one up in Canada. By why this confidence? How did I know I'd be able to get it done on schedule, particularly when my last scotemaking endeavor took significantly longer and inflicted great damage on my teeth? Because this time I was prepared. I had all the tools and materials I needed: a hugeass needle with a yawning eye, strong twine, vice grips to pull the twine through instead of having to clench the needle in my teeth for each and every stitch, even one of those little seam cutters to punch holes in the fabric. True, I also had high hopes for the little needle threader that came with the mini-sewing kit that I bought, hopes that collapsed as soon as the needle threader doohickey shattered on the first try. But in the main, my preparations bore scratchy, denim-tinted fruit. But I suppose that's nothing to you folks. Where's the cartoon? Fear not, fair readers. It is here. Not only that, but it addresses questions that have burned in many readers' minds since this time last week. I urge you to sample it on the nonce. Paul Notley's Top 300 Movies My brother turned... uh... 38, that's it, 38 this week, and one of his birthday requests was that I post this list of his 300 favorite films. This I now do. Check it out, it's a list of movies! * Don't know what a scrote is? Please consult scrotoss.blogspot.com. Fri, Aug 10 - Wait! Urg, it's excruciating. Ever since I arrived home from Comic-Con bursting to watch Gamera The Brave only to discover that the box contained no DVD, I've been pinning all my everything on that day when the new DVD shows up in the mail. It's been a week and the dice are no. Is it in transit? Have they even put it in an envelope yet? It's impossible for me to know and I just can't get past it. I am being made mental, and I find myself taking it out on my readers with cartoons such as Replays! Another one for you, and evidently I forgot to upload the updated Replays page from last week, so there's two. Wheeeee!!!! Earlier updates? Here! |