Fri, Apr 22 - Prey I don't know why I keep going after this one particular fish in this one specific barrel, but whatever the reason is, this week I'm here again, emptying round after round into the tiny enclosure as though it was sport. Hmmmm... maybe it's because the movie just came out. Anyway, please enjoy Actually Good As I posted to Facebook yesterday, I know I'm way behind the times on this particular piece of information, but man is Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs ever a fun movie. Slightly odd character design but great music (by Devo's Mark Mothersbaugh), zippy animation (some by Chris Williams of Intelligent Humour waaaaaaaay back in the early 90's), pro-nerd sensibilities and real feelings. A serious contender for How To Train Your Dragon's place in my animation-lovin' heart. If you ain't seen it yet, get thee to it AT ONCE. Fri, April 15 - Beware You may think you're safe. You may believe you've planned for every contingency. You may feel protected by force of contract or universal agreement or plain common sense. Then it happens. Fri, April 8 - Anticipating I know I shouldn't, but I can't help myself. It's got hold of me. Its sickly tentacles are wrapped around every bump and fold of my brain. It's insidious and irresistible. What am I talking about? Aw, you know... Oh, and thanks to superfan Sean Osborne for taking the time to tidy up the archive file a bit! Fri, April 1 - No Fool I Seeing as how it's April Fool's Day, I should have some astoundingly clever foolery to deliver, something to make you all go "Whaaaaa---?" before chuckling to yourselves over how you'd been got. Sadly, this year such will not be the case, as I have merely a simple cartoon on offer, a petty amusement most likely meaningless for those who haven't gone out to see Sucker Punch. Nonetheless I deliver it: Fri, Mar 25 - Soft Cells Not that I have any real idea as to what the update title this week is supposed to mean. But it seemed right and, after months of dreary Seattle drizzlewinter cut with a slender slice of sunshine this last Wednesday, why not go with what seems right? It's spring, after all, or so I'm told, and spring's when young folks' fancies go out and stay in and basically revel in all the unexpectedly increased daylight. Thus I offer this trifle, this confection of life Broken Links Thanks all who've written in to let me know stuff still ain't all connected in this here new home for angryflower.com. Firefox is installing my updates, and will be ready in a few minutes, but meanwhile I'm gonna see if I can find some lost files... searching... processing... yep, the first two pieces of the Everybody vs. Bob the Angry Flower part of the archive should be living again. Refresh your browsers and keep 'em coming! Tues, Mar 22 - Movies, Quick'uns Saw three movies over the weekend: Battle Los Angeles, Rango and Paul. Thumbnails to follow. Battle Los Angeles I was surprised to learn from the opening credits that the name of the movie was Battle Los Angeles. Not Battle: L.A. or even Battle: Los Angeles, but just Battle Los Angeles. In a way, just typing it out now, it's brilliant. Because the movie is all about battling Los Angeles. Not in a good or entertaining way, mind you, just as battling Los Angeles would not be a fun or enjoyable experience. No, Battling Los Angeles would be a lot of running around, taking cover, wondering what the fuck was going on and then eventually getting to shoot at some clunky terminators with blobs for heads. But, after all, isn't that what we should expect from a battle with Los Angeles? Paul A pleasant pleasure, mild and gentle. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost step aside to let Seth Rogan's alien Paul run the show as they play offside. Kristen Wiig charms as a psychocutaneous infotransfer recipient who starts out with a T-Shirt saying "Evolve This!" on the way to becoming an enthusiastic fountain of novel profanities. Rango This one's probably too good for a thumbnail, but the big thing I got from this was how, well... how ugly it is. The rendering isn't the smooth, polished surface of a Pixar or Dreamworks animation, it's weathered and rough and beaten. And that beaten quality extends to the characters. They are messed up, dried, dessicated, bereft... There's a bird who shouldn't still be walking around but there he is. Ugly. Harsh. Crick-necked. With odd dollops of smartness. Fri, Mar 18 - Too Soon Probably. Certainly my editor at Vue wasn't too pleased with Fri, Mar 11 - Battle: L.A. No, I haven't seen the movie, and I don't even have a strong opinion on it; I just wanted an update headline with a lot of punctuation. And after all, surely there's a battle going on somewhere in Los Angeles at the moment, right? A cartoon? A strip? A piece of visual, textual humor? Is there such a thing? Why, yes, friends, there is. Fri, March 4 - EmCitComCon All right, cats, who's pumped for Emerald City Comic Con? Anybody? Anybody at all? C'mon, lighten up; there are loads of amazing artists attending and none of them (well, except for one) have anything to do with Comical Conning So, yeah, it's Emerald City Comic-Con this weekend. I'll have a table in the Artist Alley; round about the circle in this here map: unless I make a bold play to get my table over by the other PopCap folks up by the pink scribble. Come on out! Buy a book. Hell, buy all the books! Mon, Feb 28 - Emerald City C-Con Yep, folks, it's a comin', and I'll be there in spot E-14, but I just wanted to post this quick note from none other than Keith Knight: - - - Join award-winning indie cartoonist Keith Knight (the K Chronicles,  the Knight Life, (th)ink)and friends as they present a night of  cartoons, comedy and all-out foolishness. With animated shorts from  Portland's Graham Annable (Grickle), Blacksploitation madness from  fellow Portlander, David Walker (BadAzz Mofo), and local boy Stephen  "Bob the Angry Flower" Notley explains why you're WRONG!! Race!! Humor!! Nerds!! Sex!! and Beer!! The best Sunday you'll ever have!! $5  Sunday, March 6th, 7pm  18+ @ Jigsaw Renaissance 1026 Madison Street (@ Boren) Seattle, WA 98104 (206) 792-5836 - - - I'm a little nervous about Keith's proposed "Steve Notley tells you how you're wrong," thing, but I'll be damned if I don't give it a whirl. But I warn you: Batman and Robin was AWESOME, and the Star Wars Prequels are MUCH BETTER than the orginal series! Fri, Feb 25 - Ashes, From Intent readers of angryflower.com might have noticed that the site was completely down and boned for a few days last week. As I understand it, this was because some bot-spamming jackhole decided to seize the lungfish.com servers and commandeer them into asking millions of uninterested people if they needed their penises enlarged. This led to a full-on cruchplosion of said servers, and when stalwart lungfish host Lore Sjoberg changed the passwords to close off the flood, said jackhole retaliated by going back in and wiping the hard drives. Thanks, you irredeemable fucker! Dante's whipping up whole new levels of hell for your punishment, you shitsack! Anyway, the end result was that lungfish got pwned, along with it angryflower.com, and Lore reasonably concluded he shouldn't be in the hosting-other-folks-websites biz any more, as he had not the time nor inclination to spend on defending generosity against dinks. So! Angryflower.com has moved to a different web host, dreamhost.com, which I hope works out. I bid the fondest adieu to Lore and lungfish. Lore, author of The Book of Ratings, current writer for Wired, has been the generous patron of angryflower.com for close-on a decade and a half, patronage without which this humble site would've crumbled years ago. I urge all who have ever read this site to click the above links, follow Lore's writings and buy Lore's output. It's great and worth it. So what now? Well, despite the abovementioned hacking cockbiter's wiping efforts, I've been able to reconstruct most of angryflower.com. The site should, on the large, sorta work, though it's now filled with broken links I haven't been able to thoroughly check. If you find a broken link, let me know; I'll tell you right now the Peggle Replays and the Popstrips are straight boned. The future? Perhaps the penismangler referenced above did a backhanded good deed, by which I mean that things are ready for a new site, one that actually works according to the expectations of 2010+ internet readers. Maybe even a WordPress system, or an acrhive with back and forward functions! In this mad new world, anything is possible. Anything, that is, other than stuff that requires me to learn how php and css work. That said, who wants a cartoon? Anybody? Anyone? Oddly apropos, I've got one: Wicked Cool In the aftermath of this websplosion I've endured a lot of guilt regarding not providing links to random Internet bullshit as used to be my wont. So, in the spirit of renewal, here's a link to a young and inspired animator named Heidi Gilbert who, on her own time, whipped up a fierce animatic for the song "Defying Gravity" from the show Wicked. Yearlong readers of this site knwo that I fell over backwards for that show last year, and Heidi's renditon of the show-stopping 1st-act crescendo is pretty much as perfect as anything can be. So, check it out, (and if you click on any link in this paragraph, let that last be the one. It's big!). Wed, Feb 21 - Websplosion Hang in, there, folks. If you're seeing these words it's because the site is kinda sorta functioning again after getting donkey-kicked in the balls over the weekend. Nothing works right now, but files should be on their way in shortest order! Fri, Feb 18 - More Darwin All right, I guess it's official: I'm into Darwin at the moment. I'm reading Richard Dawkins' The Greatest Show on Earth, so it flows pretty naturally from there. I'm so enamoured with our natural-selection-discovering hero, I even broke down and did a cartoon about him. Paul's 400 Looks like my industious brother's been listing up a storm again, so if you direct your attention to the column on the left side of the screen and down a bit, you'll find a link called 400 Fave Movies. Heavily influenced by theyshootpictures.com (a movie list-lover's dream), it's a giant list of movies! Not just a list of movies, either, but two lists, plus a list of directors. Man, if you like lists, this is the link for you! Fri, Feb 11 - Darwin There must be some reason I entitled this week's post "Darwin," but I honestly cannot imagine what it might be. I'm doing the due dilligence, checking over all my files, examining the evidence, but the only leads I'm getting are confused and contradictory. Am I reading Darwin right now? No. Am I suddenly thinking about the damn dolphin character in SeaQuest? Not until just now. Was it because one of my co-workers mentioned Darwin's Radio by Greg Bear a couple of days ago? Holy shit... that's IT! That's exactly why. Not that any of this has anything whatsoever to do with the content of this week's cartoon, but that just makes it like the rest of the universe, whose connection to this strip can generously be described as "scanty." Enjoy! Fri, Feb 4, 11 -- Egypt! I'll confess I'm as ignorant as most about Egypt and its history, stretching back two hundred and twenty hundred years. But I couldnt' help myself, so thus this cartoon: Running around the site just this moment to check if all the stuff worked... holy CRAP is it hard to navigate! Not even a bit of it makes sense any more! Fri, Jan 28 - Gearing Up I admit it's taking some time to get really rolling again after the Christmas holiday. Doing a bunch of comics on an accelerated schedule, then doing no comics for an extended period... well, it can mess up one's comic-making rhythm. Takes a bit of time to smooth out the process and get all cylinders firing and all metaphors functioning properly. I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes, despite your most earnest wishes, you can still end up with comics like Fri. Jan 21 - No More Than Any One Welcome back, Bob readers! I know it's only been a week but damn, time has been known to fly, hasn't it? I hope y'all have enjoyed the last little bit; I know I have. Typically I like to keep the Bob stuff separate from the I-work-at-PopCap-Games stuff, but I'll confess some PopCap Games shit goin' on has been rather refreshing, ongorging and diverting, distracting to the point that the only Bob energies I've left to deploy have resulted in feeble offerings of this sort: On the plus side, a year's worth of sidelined energies and crappy Bob product may result in some playable thing rather cool... perhaps even a game! So there's that and in the meantime I suspect a few decent Bob strips might emerge regardless just because that's what Bob strips do despite all my efforts to punch them down into emptiness. DRUNK? Good catch, readers! Your humble servant is indeed hammered, struggling to compose another weekly update in the midst of alcoholic spinneries. And, and, and that's not even mentioning the persistent and instistent wet coughing jags that have become a regular part of your author's daily life, hacking near-barfing expulsions that would lead any sensible person to consult medical help or at least cut down on his smoking! Luckily, distanced by the Internet as you are, y'all need not be exposed to such grotesqueries. But be assured, the moment one of these cough marathons results in blobs of blood, action will be taken! Weightless Cats And in case any of you folks hadn't yet been informed, there's a video out there on YouTube showing just what happens when cats are without weight. It's hilarious! Fri, Jan 14 - Straight Shooting Hey, folks, welcome back to the Bob the Angry Flower web page! We're far enough into the year that I really have no time-based metaphysical ramblings to deliver, so... uh... I guess here's a cartoon! Oh wait! I knew I forgot something! There was another cartoon in there between Bank Job and Thing.y. It's Two comics! One week! WHAT WILL SURVIVE??? Fri, Jan 7 - Hey hey I am the Monkees No, that's not quite right, I think I'm merely repeating someting I've... ahhhhhh, yes. Hey, hey, I am a monkey. Not a Monkee, but a simple monkey, or as C.Hitchens put it again and again in his book, God is Not Great, a mammal. I'm a mammal. Also a monkey. Indeed, the latter implies the former. Anyway, how y'alls doing this fine few days into the fresh second decade of the 21th Century? Good? Wanna complain on how the second decade of the 21st century started a year ago? Rilz? I know you don't. I know that regular readers of this preposterous site realize that, regardless of whether or not 2010 or 2011 marks the beginning of the 2nd decade of blah blah blah, we can all agree that we're in it now. BOO-YaH! So, I suppose it's my duty to provide another Bob strip, and this I now do: Sorry about the wee gif haze around the edge of the strip link; I'm simplyt too drunk to fire up Photoshop to corect it. Or no wait, I'm not quite that drunk; the haze shouldn't be there any more. Regardless! Welcome friends into this exciting new future, parts of which we all shall make! And please enjoy my stupes cartoon. Oh, and just so I remember it... Ten thousand is one percent of a million. One percent of a million is ten thousand. Thusly, $1,000,000 x 1% = $10,000 Yep, yep, the numbers check out. Whew! Fri, Dec 17 - Goodnight Ten Thanks for the ride, 0s. You were pretty crappy but you delivered some decent special effects, particularly in the first act. Looking forward to the next chapter; I'm expecting big things. Comic? Ah yes, I do have a comic for you people, which one was it again, I've been drawing so many to bulk up for the holiday hiatus I kinda forget what's going on. Oh! Here we go! This week's is But...? No more updates until first week of January next year, so here's next week special extra-special tasty yummy Christmas cartoon, hereby entitled See y'all next year! WOOOOOOOOOYEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! FriDec 10m10 - 11 Days to Solstice Comin' up real quick now, the darkest day of the year for all northeren hemisherian readers. PARTEEEEEEE!!!!!! Or so I am told. I now present this week's cartoon, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality Some alert readers of last week's strip pointed me to the Harry Potter and the Methods of Reality fanfic blog which purports to premise that Harry Potter was a fierce rational prodigy raised by two scientist parents when he was invited to Hogwart's at the age of 11. Events flow compassionately and without pity from there. Scary. Seriously, it's messing me up. Fri, Dec 3 - Now What? In the absence of Gunt... evil prevails. Or no, that's light. The absence of light. At any rate, now that Gunt is in our past for now, it's time to move on, but no fear. Even as we say goodbye to Gunt and his amusing antics, we still have cartoons featuring dudes with beards. Readers, I give you Intellect and Romance Craig Ferguson, a Brit talk show host, had Matt Smith of Doctor Who fame on his show not long ago, and lately there's been buzzing around on YouTube a clip of the cold open they didn't end up using. It summarizes my feelings perfectly! Fri, Nov 26 - COLD! Holy fracas, folks, the chill of last week claws fingers all over, dumping city-crippling snows on Seattle and apparently rendering Alberta the second-coldest place on Earth not long ago. Ha! That sure is funny, we all got a good laugh, so how about knocking it off and returning some heat. A little. Please? Just a bit? DAMMIT. Anyway, Gunt fans and enemies alike, hold onto your genitals for the senses-shattering conclusion of the Gunt Cycle, a little cartoon entitled Fri, Nov 19 - The Chill Woo! Yikes! It's cold outside! And I'm just talking about Seattle, not the empire of frigidity that is my hometown of Edmonton, Alberta, locked in ice, shivering in temperatures measured below zero regardless of whether you weild a thermometer Fahrenheit or Celsius. Gotta head up north, though, since the Gateway is chiming in a hundred years of operation, a hundred years of spitting out humans in all directions to make our common world funnier, stupider, smarter and more attentive to long-forgotten Gateway values. DAMN IT'S GONNA BE SO COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But before the long cold begins, gotta throw down with what some would call penultimate Gunt, this flakey tale entitled Fri, Nov 12 - Pies of Meat Sorry if I seem a little distracted this update, folks, but my mind whirls, whils, whirls with possible solutions to the over-watered problems that have plagued my meat pies up to this moment. I don't want to promise anything, after all I've only heard advice while drunk in a bar, but I feel like I can suggest the possibility of my next meat pie being the best ever yet. Rue's the word. Gunt? Why yes, sire, don't mind if I do! Fri, Nov5 - November Storm Yet another Gunt strip, this one entitled Fri, Oct 29 - Holy Halloween! What a crazy Halloween weekend comin' up, huh? Friday, Saturday, Sunday -- all rich with Halloween-party potential! I haven't seen a Halloween weekend like this for a long time. And what better way to kick it off with a cartoon about the importance of grooming, good conduct and the rich value of friends, a cartoon like Have a fun time this weekend, folks! Stay home and drink! Fri, Oct 22 - Whoops First off, I'd like to aplogize to everybody for being so dumb that I did last week's update without checking it, thereby sporting a broken link to Celts for the whole weekend I was at APE. Stupid webmaster, stupid! I'll check this time for sure, I promise. How was APE? Pretty good. I'd feared a sluggish, depressing event but the new digs (or more accurately, the other side of the same digs) proved suitable. The weather was just right for conning (nice enough to go out, but not so nice that you didn't want to spend an afternoon indoors) and, best of all, they had a bar a banana's throw from my table. Being able to begin the gin & soda regimen two hours before the show's over gives one a definite strategic edge in the drinking game. I didn't do as much wandering around as I probably should've, but there was some. Keith Knight of course was there, as he always is, along with Shannon Wheeler fresh off his triumphant story in Marvel's Strange Tales. He put me on a panel with Matt Bors of War is Boring, Spike of Templar, Arizona and Barry Duetch of Hereville, so that was kinda fun. Hung out with Miriam Libicki of Jobnik, Amy Martin of AmyMartinComics and Breanne Boland of, well, Breanne Boland's comics. Managed to grab Raina Telgemeier's Smile as well as her latest Babysitter's Club adaptation (sniff!), and got her-learning-curve-is-unstoppable Der-Shing Helmer's latest issue of The Meek. Why are all the good comics these days being made by women? And as for random finds, give Randall Christopher's Kleeman And Mike a try if you're interested in some deceptively simple art and deceptively smart writing. Oh, and I had some beef brisket from Tommy's Joynt, which right there is a reason for living. So damn good. Whew! That's a lotta APE! Is there even a new cartoon this week in the face of all this APEing? Always, dear readers, always. Earlier updates? Here!