February 21 -- And I thought it was cold before...
Okay, we gotta lot of work to do this week, so let's get right down
to it. First, the cartoon:
The Book 4 Title Contest is Over
Well, I got a ton of suggestions from you folks, and noodled over a
ton more of my own. After a big pile of time and consideration, I think
I'm decided on what to call it, and wouldn't you know it, it's actually
one of your suggestions! That took me by surprise, I can tell you. I've
got some prizes to hand out, the book title to announce, and loooooong
list of everybody's entries, and it's all right
Buy Books, People!
Seriously, maybe it's the February blahs, but the stream of book
orders has slowed to the proverbial trickle. That means death! Somebody
out there, for crying out loud, do the right thing.
Well, we got another movie review, this
time of Kurt Russell's new L.A. cop drama Dark
Blue. Plus, there's a clutch of new links in the links
dump, so good, so fresh, so dumpy.
And a couple of APE pictures...
First, a quick one from Vincent Bondy...
And then a couple from Book 4 title contest winner Owen Magee, first
just a shot of me hamming it up at my booth...
... and then another shot showing off just how sweet my placement at
Owen's got a couple more pics at http://tardis.nu/~mageeol/photos/ape/
if you want to check 'em out. Pictures!
Whew! I'm all updated out! Time to smoke and sleep!
Whoops! One more thing!
Just a quick note to let you folks know angryflower is shifting servers
next week, so it might be out of commission for a couple of days. Keep
trying if it's not working!
February 14 -- Sweet Christ, is it really
I've never had a stellar record for Valentine's Day, and it looks like
this year's gonna fit all nice and snug into the pattern. But can I care?
Hardly. Nope, I'm simply too busy coming up with amusing little scribbles
for you cats, and if I've got that, how can I lack for love?
I've got a bit of a curve ball for those of you who check the archive
page to see which cartoons are coming up next, since I did this one just
last Sunday and rushed it into print while it's still "current." So, please
Name Book 4 contest
Keep those suggestions rollin'
in, folks, I've got a swack of them so far, and a couple of them are
pretty good. When I'm done with the contest I'll put up a page with all
the suggestions, and then you can see yours up there and laugh at how so
many people could suggest such goofy things.
Got a couple more movie reviews for y'all.
First is The Quiet American, which I reviewed
for See, and thus money, and the other is Daredevil,
which will mark the first time I reviewed a movie for no money just cuz
I thought my web readers might be curious to know what I think.
If any of you folks took pictures at APE with your little fancy digital
cameras, I'm serious: I wanna see them. C'mon! And, as always, quit
stalling and buy some books.
February 7, 2003 - "The Game is Over"
Thanks, George. Good to know the game is over. Can we go home now?
Okay, stuff, stuff. First we gots a brand new cartoon:
Pretty hilarious, right? And, even though this one isn't new, it's never
the wrong time to cower in trembling fear and terror as
Can I just point out that, under the Bush Doctrine of pre-emptive attack,
Iraq would have every right to attack the United States? I hear
Hussein's got a whole room of magical lamps with powerhouse genies in every
one -- imagine the devastation they could cause! Step lightly, America.
APE SMASHES CITY
Well, APE was a smashing success, I would say. My spot proved to be
as cherry as expected, cherrier, even. The Concourse Convention Centre
is a long hall, and with my table one of two actually facing the door,
and with my table being one of the few with banners, bascially everybody
who walked in saw a sea of tables and a big sign saying "Bob the Angry
Flower", plus a guy in a flower hat underneath. Sweet, sweet publicity.
I sold all the books I brought down, minus a couple I gave away, and I'd
like to thank all the folks who came by and bought books, or even accepted
one of my crappy handouts and is now checking out the site for the first
time. Hell, why don't I thank everybody? Thanks, all. Alan Bamberger of
San Francisco has some coverage of APE at his
site, including a photo of me in the hat. If any of you other APErs
have photos, e-mail me, for
cryin' out loud, and I'll link to them or stick them up on the site.
I finally got to meet God/man Lore Fitzgerald of The
Brunching Shuttlecocks, beloved host of Angryflower.com and author
of the me-illustrated and funny The
Ratings. Bigger guy than I expected from the pictures in the book,
frankly. I'd also like to point y'all towards M@comic
by a Toronton fella named Matt B, with whom I spent a good chunk of the
weekend, and I'd also like to thank Rachel from the Cartoon Art Museum
for showing us why they say San Franciscans are some of the friendliest
people in the world. Garsh, people are nice. And finally, I'd like to drool
a bit thinking about the BBQ beef brisket I had at the legendary Tommy's
Joynt at the corner of Geary and Van Ness in San Francisco. Commencing
drooling...... now: Aarrallaalllarralllagallll soooo goooooooood....
No new movie reviews this week (though I've
seen Daredevil already), but there's a couple more entries in the
dump if you want to check 'em out. A fella named Greg Hirsch has some
to offer, as well as a link to his main
page. As well, the mysteriously-named "David" has a fledgling web
comic of his own, and he wants you folks to read it and love it. Why
not find out if you can?
I'm beginning to do some thinking about the fourth book, which I plan
to have out for Christmas 2003. I've got some ideas, but I'm not married
to any of them yet. So, without getting all lame on me, if some of you
brighter ones out there could send
me some suggestions as to what I should call it, that'd be handy. If
anybody comes up with anything good enough to use, I'll give 'em a free
book when it comes out. Hell, I'll give you all 4 books! How's that sound?
Hell, let's make a contest out of it. Best three suggestions, even if I
don't end up using any of them, get books. Go nuts.
If you folks didn't read that traffic
jam link I put up last week, you really should. I don't make a habit
of recommending crap, y'know...
Hey! Just because it's February doesn't mean you can slack off on buying
books! Jeez, get with the program, people!
January 31, 2003 -- Something something
Gonna be a quick update this week, folks, cuz I'm climbing on a plane
and zipping off to San Francisco at an ungodly early hour. So, the cartoon:
Yep, I'm off to the Alternative Press Expo, this very weekend in San
Francisco at the Concourse Exhibition Center at Showplace Square, 635 7th
St. All you San Franciscans, and Oaklanders, and other folks of a Bob-liking
disposure who happen to live in the area, come on down. Gather around my
table, make me look popular, get your books signed by me and laugh your
cares away. It'll be fun fun fun until daddy takes the T-bird away, as
Jesus said once.
We got another movie review here at angryflower.com.
This one's for Spike Lee's new joint, 25th Hour,
and it's a corker. Better still, I want to draw everybody's attention to
a strikingly good article
I found courtesy of Cruel.com. What's
this great article about? Traffic
jams, that's what. Sound boring? Trust me folks, it ain't. This is
one of those sweet essays that starts out talking about traffic and ends
up touching on wave dynamics, quantum physics, basic human morality and
simple steps that tell you how anybody can make the whole world better.
No shit, folks, it's a great read. Traffic
January 24, 2003 - Edmonton Freezes Down
It seems every year around this time I update the site with a note
explaining just how friggin' cold it's gotten. Folks, it's seriously cold,
as in -30 degrees Celsius cold. I don't know how that translates out into
Farenheit, but trust me, it's brutal. Everybody's just staying indoors,
rediscovering old video games, and spending even more time on the Internet
than they do already. Luckily, the Internet is always changing, shifting,
offering new "content", and in that spirit I offer this week's cartoon:
Well, as promised, there's a couple of movie reviews
this week. Lessee, we've got Confessions of a Dangerous
Mind, starring Sam Rockwell and directed by George Clooney, and we've
also got The Pianist, starring Adrien Brody
and directed by whatisname, Roman Polanski. And what the hell, it won't
run in See for another week, but here's my review of Darkness
Falls, while we're at it. Why not, right?
APE approaches, and man, is my table sweet!
I don't want to sound like I'm gloating here, but I got my table assignment
for the Alternative
Press Expo, and it's just about as awesome as I could have hoped. It's
right in the front, facing everybody as they come in, next to funnyman
Knight. So here's a special call out to all my San Franciscan fans:
Show Up! Crowd around my table like I'm a big star so other people will
come over and want to know what the big deal is all about! And then they'll
books, and I won't have to just throw 20 of them away before heading
back home. That'd be pretty damn embarassing. This will be the first APE
where I'll have copies of Everybody vs. Bob the Angry Flower (god
willing), so I'm hoping there's still a whiff of novelty.
I just wanted to thank everybody who wrote in to agree with me that
launching an attack on Iraq would be stupid and crazy and evil. And hell,
I even wanna thank the couple of people who didn't agree with me.
At least people are talking and thinking about this crap, asking some questions.
And it's heartening to see opposition to this mass murder taking shape,
getting organized. I participated in a peace rally last Saturday, and I
admit I felt a flicker of hope, seeing thousands of my fellow Edmontonians
brave the freeze to stand for something. Of course, hope turned to rage
when I checked out CNN's asshole coverage of the US protests. In two hours
of Headline News I spotted exactly one clip that actually showed from above
the tens of thousands of people filling the streets, after which they quickly
switched over to a generic shot of a dozen people with signs and never
showed the throng again. So much easier to dismiss the protestors as fringey
commie wackos when you don't show that there were 150,000 of them. Frankly,
it's a tribute to the essential goodness and reasonableness of the American
people that so many of them are against this war despite the truly
outstanding torrent of bullshit and propaganda they've had crammed down
their asses over the last little while. Rational Americans, I salute you.
January 17, 2003 -- Vice City Blowout
See, once we completed the Bank Job, and Phil's two missions, we kinda
figured we'd beaten the game, or at least the story missions. But ohhhhh
no, you still have to finish up some more stuff and then you go into the
final shootout between yourself, that despicable turncoat Lance (who, let's
face it, never once carried his own weight in this whole operation) and
Mob boss Sonny Forelli. I've got speed, I've got smarts, I've got cheat
codes, but I seem to keep going down in a hail of bullets no matter what
I do. But I will cement control of Vice City's criminal operations
-- THIS I SWEAR!
In other news, a comic:
APE, of course, is the Alternative
Press Expo, Feb 1 and 2, in San Francisco, and time is running down.
Only a couple of weeks, now. Feels so good...
No new movie reviews this week either, but next week I should have
two, for Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and for The Pianist.
Without tipping my hand before I post my reviews, I will candidly say that
Pianist = good.
And while we're at it, I'm gonna rant
The network news is all abuzz over the discovery of some empty missile
warheads in Iraq, with everybody wondering if this is the hotly-awaited
"smoking gun." Maybe I'm crazy, but to me a smoking gun is a gun with smoke
coming out of it because it's been used to shoot something and kill people,
y'know, like when somebody's started a war, rather than sitting there waiting
to have one started on them? On whose borders, exactly, does Iraq have
a army waiting to invade? And when did hiding missiles become a crime that
demands the death penalty for thousands of innocent people? Before we all
line up to make our own guns all nice and smoky, can't we just grab half
a grip and not be the ones to start the killing (or pardon me, ramp
up the killing, since we've already been bombing Iraq pretty much nonstop
since 1991)? People get all excited over whether Hussein has these fabled
"weapons of mass destruction," but what kind of destruction is it when
you bomb a city into the ground and then smash the rubble into dust with
tanks? Sounds pretty "massive" to me. How does the fact that you did it
with a thousand bombs instead of just one make it okay? And while we're
at it, when did people start thinking war was an acceptable tool of policy
instead of a total fucking human disaster???
January 10, 2003 -- Still Alive...
And with life comes responsibility, the never-ending requirement to
update the web page. Got kind of a wacky, goofy, just-havin'-fun kinda
cartoon for you this week, nothing too fancy or political or stressful
on the brain. A trifle, perhaps, but still... it's free!
Yep, just another little note to promote upcoming appearance in San
Francisco at the Alternative
Press Expo, Feb 1 and 2. Should be pretty hot.
Well, the dry run for movie reviews stretches ever longer, though I
should have a couple up next week. As for new links, for some reason people
selling flowers on the Internet seem to want links from me, so I'm obliging.
and I've put the link in the dump as well.
And while we're at it...
I know, Christmas is over, the economy is tanking... who wants to buy
books under these conditions? Answer: you do.
Sure you do. C'mon.
January 3, 2003 -- It Begins...
Okay, it's Friday morning, a fresh new year, and I'm coughing my lungs
out smoking crappy Indian cigarettes. I'd say it's time for another cartoon.
A new one, to go with this splendid and terrible new year. So, here it
A new year, a new convention cycle. First up is the Alternative
Press Expo, held in rainy San Francisco, just past the very tip-end
of Janaury, Feb 1 and 2, 2003. Barring adventures with customs and immigrations,
I hope to be there, and who knows? I may even have some books with me.
Not to sell, of course, but to give away as promotional items. Because
selling them would be wrong.
I've been kinda lazy at the ol' See these days, so I haven't
written any more reviews recently, but I am gonna add a couple of links
to the regular links page. First is What
is Deep Fried, a damn funny and worthily angry comic strip that appears,
like Bob, on the Internet. Second is Space
Moose, which came up in conversation yesterday and I realized I didn't
have a link to it. Bad Steve Notley! Bad! As well, there's another link
in the dump.
Older updates? They're here.